Wedding Bells and School Bells

wedding.jpg

Well I’ve put this post off for a few weeks now mostly out of busyness. Things have really taken off in the past few weeks. First of all, my baby sister got married. It was a wonderful wedding and so great to see her finally seal the deal with Jamie. They are great together and two of my best friends. I had the privilege of being the best man and giving the toast. I guess it can be summed up that he’s a little nerdy, another ginger to add to the family, and I’d trust him and Emalee more than anyone else with my children. It’s really amazing having such wonderful people in my kids lives that show them unconditional love and are there for them no matter what. My kids danced the night away, my daughter loved throwing flowers on the ground as the bride and groom walked down the aisle together behind her, and I had to carry her off as she tried to clean up the flower mess she made on the way out! The next Tuesday my daughter started headstart and my son started preschool. I can’t believe how fast they grow. Everyone says that, but it’s so true. It seems just like yesterday the 3 of us had just moved back to Kentucky, and now we’re already trying to think up ways to top the last two Halloween costumes we’ve done. I also started school, and there are some new challenges but also more confidence going into this semester. My kids just got a new babysitter who is absolutely wonderful and the children love. I have to say God certainly answers prayers, because I have been very stressed about finding them a great babysitter and the first person I talked to has been a perfect fit. Instead of being able to treat school like a full-time job where I’m able to go to the library and get all my studying done before coming home, I must now come home, spend time with the kids, get them to bed, and then stay up and do my studying at night. It’s much harder, but I am seeing my kids more which is all that really matters. Everything else will work out, it always does. I also spoke at my church a couple weekends ago about finding joy in this life. I love the quote from Russel M. Nelson; “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” It is so easy to look back at the times I really lacked joy and realize it was because of what I was focused on. I have always been amazed at the people who are able to endure trials in life with a smile on their face. I hope to be able to do that more regularly by focusing on all the wonderful things I have in my life. I also learned that when you are focusing on joy, it increases your energy even more than lots of sleep or a healthy diet. At least, it was something along those lines, so all I need is joy to get through this semester! Wish me luck. My kids bring me lots of joy. Yesterday my brother and I set up the tent down in the basement and put on our favorite movie Moana to play inside it. We also set up a little slide for them to be able to slide into the tent and onto the mattress. It was awesome listening to them giggle and watching them enjoy themselves together. It also allowed me a little break to get my butt kicked in risk with my family. They all ganged up on me for some reason…Anyway I went to see Louisville play their first football game in Lucas Oil Stadium where the Colts play their NFL home games. It was such a cool stadium and a blast being with some great friends. I was the fifth wheel with some newly weds and a more veteran married couple. They were great and I always love hanging out with them, but there are naturally moments when it’s a little awkward being alone. Dating as a single father in Kentucky is pretty difficult. Dating when I was younger was hard enough! But it’s partly my fault as well, because I don’t really want to date. Everyone tells me all the time, don’t worry, I know you’ll find someone that will be perfect for you. But maybe I don’t really want to find someone. My sister-in-law would just roll her eyes at me and say “you’ll be in love with some girl next week!” And in the past she’d be right, it used to be easy for me to fall for a girl and devote a lot of energy and emotion towards that. Now, that kind of thing doesn’t appeal to me at all. I am busy enough as it is. And maybe I use that as an excuse for the truth that I’m afraid to be vulnerable again, but it feels different than just fear. It feels more like being calloused emotionally. Life is just easier as it is now. And maybe that’s selfish of me, but I enjoy the way things are now. I’m comfortable, and have a routine. My parents are wonderful, and I get to spend every day with them. I get my kids all to myself and bond with them and watch them grow up and I sort of jealously guard that. Is it wrong to look at a life where I get to keep all those things and do everything I want to do, and never worry about someone coming in and ruining that all again for me? I look at my life 20 years from now, and all I see are countless sporting events, gymnastics, academic successes, sitting in the front cheering on my kids on my own. I see dances where my children get all fancy and I embarrass them and take lots of pictures. I see daddy daughter dates for ice cream, father son trips to watch the cards play. I see time alone spent working towards something I value and find pride in. I see all those things, and don’t want anything more. There are times when I feel lonely, but then I go on a date, and realize deep down, I don’t really want anything to change. Now hopefully my kids don’t get older and start trying to set me up with anyone! Luckily we’re still in the stage where my daughter tells me she’s going to marry me one day. She is the cutest little girl. And my son has already agreed to let me live with him in his basement when he’s grown up and has a job so my plan is all in place. I forgot to mention how much my children are loving school! I think their favorite part is getting to ride the bus home though. It seems like they have really great teachers and it’s still early but I’m just overjoyed they are getting along with the other kids and no one has picked on either one of them at all yet. They’re both so tiny, I really hope they hit a growth spurt one day! Neither one of them can tell me what they learned about during school so we’re still working on that, but they do come home with nice drawings and books to read. It’s been a little tough getting them accustomed to their new bedtime. They go to bed a little earlier now, and I have to stay up later and we all sleep in the same bed. They have been so accustomed to me just going to sleep with them that it’s hard to tell them no when they ask if I’m going to snuggle them a lot tonight, which translates to, “are you staying in bed with us after scriptures, prayer and songs?” Oh how I wish I could tell them yes. Our best convos are always at night laying in bed. Now I have to crawl in to them sound asleep every night. Speaking of, it’s about time to do just that. Hopefully I can write sooner next time. Quote of the day comes from my son; “man, I’m really tuckered out!”

 

3 thoughts on “Wedding Bells and School Bells

  1. Brendan, Austin and I are sitting here in tears as we read your blog together. you have a gift of writing and more important, you have the gift of heart!
    We love you and when the season is right you might be surprised to find your heart open for some more love….. keep trusting in the Lord because he has wonderfulness for you now and in the future
    May you be blessed in this joyful load you carry
    We love you

    Like

  2. Coming from a single father’s daughter, be careful if you decide to date someone bring around girls who are temporary is very confusing! I hope your kids do great in school, I truly believe you all are blessed. keep up the good parenting & writing I enjoyed reading this.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s